4 Lessons in 4 Years

Meeting Morgan was fate, becoming friends was a choice, falling in love with him?

I had no control over.

When it comes to describing my feelings for Morgan, the english language suddenly seems very limiting. Putting my feelings into words is nearly impossible so instead ill just simply say that I am 100% completely infatuated with him. He has taught me so much.

It has been 4 years since I officially snagged this guy off the market. We met 1st day of senior year, August of 2010. We sealed the deal August 2013. With long stretches of long distance, Health issues and being “young” (younger than we are now)  it wasn’t a smooth ride in the slightest but worth every single bump in the road and I couldn’t be happier.

1. Sacrifice and Support.

You and your spouse are two different people. Morgan and I couldn’t be more different. Being in a marriage is agreeing to sacrifice and support your spouse even if that means giving up your time to watch the most boring movie in the world because he loves it. Or giving up your Saturday morning to sleep in so you can go grocery shopping earlier so she can squeeze in a pedicure before a family party. If you guys only spent money and time on things that only the two of you wanted to do, you would get bored very quickly. Before I met Morgan, I had never watched a Superbowl game. Now, I am packing coolers of water and spending Saturday mornings cheering him on on the sidelines and praying he doesn’t get hurt and planning “football” meals so we can eat and watch a game . Before we had met, Morgan had only run a 1.5 mile for school. Now he is getting up early and watching my cross finish lines and listening to me babble on and on about races until I’m blue in the face. Those are just a few examples. We sacrifice time and money for each other and show SUPPORT while doing so. As my races get longer, they are getting more expensive and I’m sure although he has never said it, Morgan could think of 100 different things he would rather spend the money but he knows how much it means to me. Not only does Morgan watch the money go out the door but he is also there to support me. It isn’t enough to just throw money at something and say “have fun” you need to not only be willing to listen and learn about their passions and before you know it, you’ll become familiar enough with the subject that you may even grow a passion for it too..

You are on the same team.

One of the first things that I say after a game is over whether it is NFL, church ball, flag football or even just a card game and the team I was rooting for lost is “well… someone has to lose”. When it comes to marriage, no one has to lose, no one should lose because marriage isn’t a scoring game. I did not get sealed to Morgan so that I could compete with him. Our relationship is not 50/50 sometimes it is 90/10. There is never a score card and just because “I did this for you” doesn’t mean that now “you owe me”. There are days and sometimes even weeks like finals week that Morgan needs my 90 while he is able to only contribute 10. But there are also weeks where I am booked completely solid and stressed out of my mind or even sick and out on the couch and in bed and Morgan has to give me 90 while I give him a pathetic 10. The best thing that can happen in a marriage is throwing out the score card, keeping in mind that no one has to lose. Picking up the slack when your spouse is un able to is not a favor, its an expectation, it is what you committed to do when you sealed the deal. But also make sure that you are watching out for your spouse, don’t let them be burning the candle at both ends for you. If you have “won” against your spouse, you’ve lost the game, if your spouse loses, you lose, you are on the same team.

Marriage should be challenging

Being content with life is always great but having ambition and looking for ways to improve and grow is best. When Morgan and I can set and achieve a goal together, my relationship with Morgan is strengthened immensely. Goals as simple as sticking to a budget so that we can save up and go on vacation helps us not only unite with a single cause but also creates a sense of pride that we can equally share together. I always say “I didn’t get married young to start a family, I got married young so I could learn and grow with my best friend”. ( I know that every one is different and I 100% respect that ) This concept is something that Morgan and I have based our relationship on. We want to work on ourselves before we are tasked with raising other little humans. Right now we are very much goal oriented. We push each other, we constructively and lovingly critique each other. We create goals for ourselves individually and goals as a couple and help each other achieve those goals. There is something unique about the relationship between a subject working on a challenge and their supporter. If you and your spouse have a dream start by saying “how can we make that happen”. Add that dynamic to your relationship.

Don’t forget what they mean to you.

I have this theory that there is no such thing as a soulmate. That any two people could be together and have a functioning relationship as long as they are attracted to each other, share the same values and priorities and are dedicated to taking care of each other. Although I still believe that is true, the longer I am with Morgan, the more I experience life, Grow and become my own person, I just cannot shake the feeling that he was made for me. Every time I sit and think about Morgan as a person and even more as a husband I get this overwhelming feeling of love, gratitude and paralyzing fear. How can this one person mean absolutely so much to me. If I ever lost him my world would be gone. This fear is something that I try to always keep in mind and not in a narcissistic way. I never want to forget how much he actually means to me and how terrifying it would be to not have him around because if I don’t lose sight of that, there is no argument worth having, no trial too hard and every second with him is priceless. If you can always remember how much your spouse does or you and means to you, there is no trial or bump in the road too big for you to get over. There will be no annoyance worth arguing over. be as forgiving as you were when you were in the honeymoon phase, imagine what it would be like if they really were gone and you didn’t have those little things to annoy you…. you might actually miss them!

I am in no means a veteran on this topic, but what I do know that I’m learning and growing every day and I couldn’t imagine a better human to be learning and growing alongside me than this hottie.

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